Day 13 – Dollywood, Heat and the World’s Most Disappointing Ribs

Day 13 was Dollywood Day. Yay

And it was hot.

Very hot.

The day began with Ro and I setting out on what should have been a simple mission: find a supermarket and buy some breakfast supplies.

This turned out to be harder than expected.

Back home, when someone says “supermarket,” we generally think of a Woolworths, Coles or even a 7Eleven. Bread. Milk. Fruit. Maybe some Vegemite if you’re lucky.

In rural Tennessee, however, a market can apparently mean a petrol station selling beer, vapes, energy drinks and approximately seventeen varieties of beef jerky.

After visiting several establishments that appeared to specialise exclusively in nicotine and lottery tickets, we admitted defeat, collected Liddy and Mikey, and headed off to Dollywood still hungry.

We arrived just at 10am as the gates opened and immediately discovered two things.

Firstly, it was school holidays and we didn’t know!! The holidays had brought hundreds of extra families to the park, making it far busier than we’d expected.

Secondly, Dollywood is beautifully presented.

Thirdly, it was already approaching 30 degrees and climbing rapidly. Adding to the chaos were the seemingly endless mobility scooters weaving through the crowds, which at times felt like their own amusement ride and seemed to be everywhere.

The girls and Mikey had come prepared with a strategy. The plan was to tackle the major rides before the queues built up and before the heat became unbearable.

So they headed straight for the roller coasters.

I remained on the ground.

Somebody had to look after the hats, and the bags.

And provide moral support.

The others disappeared onto various terrifying machines with names involving eagles, tornadoes and fire and judging by the screams coming from overhead, everyone appeared to be having a good time.

Eventually the adrenaline enthusiasts had their fill and we moved on to what we’d really come to see.

Dolly

One thing Dollywood does exceptionally well is celebrate the life and career of Dolly Parton.

Throughout the park there are exhibits showcasing her incredible journey from a tiny cabin in the Smoky Mountains to becoming one of the most successful entertainers in history.

We spent quite a bit of time wandering through the Dolly Parton Experience, which contains costumes, awards, photographs, memorabilia and stories from throughout her career. There were displays dedicated to her music, films, charity work and business ventures, and it quickly became obvious just how much she’s achieved over the years.

Even if you’re not a huge country music fan, it’s hard not to admire what she’s built.

By early afternoon the weather had become genuinely brutal.

Temperatures had climbed into the mid-30s, the humidity was through the roof and even standing still felt like exercise.

By around 3:30pm we’d had enough.

The sensible option was retreat.

So we left the park and went in search of food.

This should have been easy.

It wasn’t.

Everywhere we looked seemed to be either fast food, takeaway or something involving a drive-through window. After driving around for a while and failing to find anything that inspired us, we eventually surrendered and headed to the what we identified as Walmart, which apparently doesn’t sell furniture and other bulk goods, but sells groceries?? Oh well.

Bread rolls, salami and salad. A few supplies and lunch was conducted at home.

Frankly, it was one of the better decisions of the day. The afternoon was spent relaxing, chatting and

recovering from the heat before Mikey eventually decided that a day ending in Tennessee without barbecue would be unacceptable.

At around 7pm we headed out to a place called Busting Butts BBQ.

Unfortunately, not every barbecue stop can be a winner.

The ribs were, without exaggeration, probably the worst we’ve had on the entire trip. Fatty and mushy.

After nearly two weeks of eating some of America’s best barbecue, perhaps our standards have become unrealistically high, but these ribs were never going to trouble the leaderboard.

Disappointed but not defeated, we headed home but t was still early, so we went for a drive through the hills to Douglas Dam before eventually returning home.

The day did finish on a high note.

As darkness settled in, we found ourselves watching dozens of fireflies dancing around the property.

For the Americans reading this, that’s probably completely normal.

For Australians, it’s like seeing something from a Disney movie.

None of us had ever seen fireflies before and we spent far longer than we probably should have standing around watching tiny flashing lights drift through the warm Tennessee evening.

Tomorrow promises to be one of the biggest and most eventful days of the trip so far.

A lot happened.

Possibly too much happened.

Oh yes. I forgot to tell you!

But y’all have to wait for tomorrows blog.👋