Day 1 – Dallas, Heat and Poor Decisions

After what felt like forever on a plane, we finally landed at Dallas-Fort Worth after 15½ hours in the air. Tired, dusty and running mostly on excitement and airline food, we stepped outside and immediately got smacked in the face by 33-degree heat and humidity.

It felt like we’d walked into a giant sauna.

First job was picking up the road trip chariot from Alamo. We met Mikey and Liddy at the rental car depot who had arrived from Reno a couple of hours earlier. Checking in at the rental desk was easy enough, with Liddy politely explaining to the service agent how to do her job. With a smile, of course.

Then came the first drama of the trip.

We got to the exit gate and the attendant asked for Alpal’s driver’s licence. Simple request. Unfortunately, the passport wallet containing said licence had apparently vanished off the face of the earth.

Cue ten minutes of panic, six cars lined up behind us, and thoughts of a very embarrassing walk back to the rental desk. Eventually the missing wallet was discovered under Alpal’s seat.

Idiot.

With that crisis averted and no further incidents to report, we pointed the chariot towards Hampton Inn & Suites in Euless, our home for the next two nights.

After dumping the bags and washing off 15 hours of travel grime, it was finally time to start the important part of the trip: eating and drinking our way across America’s barbecue belt.

First stop was Rodeo & Rye in Arlington. We started sensibly enough with a couple of little bottled beers. Somehow this quickly escalated into one-litre beer mugs. After spending most of a day trapped inside a flying tube, nobody was questioning the decision.

Then came the main event: Hurtado Barbecue.

Every road trip needs a cautionary tale, and Day 1 delivered ours.

Mikey took charge of ordering.

Now, in fairness, none of us really understood what we were ordering. We nodded confidently, pointed at things that looked good, and before long the tray just kept getting bigger. Brisket, ribs, sausage, sides… and more brisket.

By the time the food arrived it looked less like dinner and more like catering for a local footy club.

There was a brief discussion about whether we’d gone too hard.

We ignored it.

What followed was a stubborn display of determination as two increasingly uncomfortable men attempted to justify Mikey’s ordering strategy. Against all logic and several warning signs from our stomachs, we somehow managed to eat most of it.

By 7:30pm we were back at the hotel, which is an embarrassingly early bedtime for a bunch of tourists on a barbecue road trip. But after 15½ hours of flying, a couple of giant beers and enough smoked meat to feed a small village, we were absolutely cooked.

Day 1 was done.

The Barbecue Road Tour was officially underway, and if Hurtado was any indication, portion control isn’t going to be featuring heavily in the days ahead.

See y’all tomorrow,👋